There’s a common joke among parents about “having the talk” with their preteens about the “birds and the bees.” Yet, there’s another important talk parents should have with their older children – and that all of us should have with our loved ones.
It’s the talk about end-of-life care wishes.
Although this is a topic most of us prefer not to think about, it is very important to let our loved ones aware of how we would like to be treated if we face a life-threatening or terminal illness. To help alleviate broaching an uncomfortable topic, an initiative called The Conversation Project created National Healthcare Decisions Day, held on April 16 of each year.
The goal is to encourage everyone to share with their loved ones, caregivers and health providers about their wishes for care through the end of life. It’s never too early to make these decisions and make sure that our loved ones know our wishes.
Making decisions when you’re healthy and able to make them yourself can ease the burden of your family. And, it can help put your mind at ease.
One important piece of sharing your wishes is to have a health care agent and fill out a health care proxy.
A health care proxy is a legal form that shows you have appointed to act as your health care agent for medical decisions and speak on your behalf if you are unable to due to illness or injury. Completing a health care proxy form can prevent confusion and help your family and friends make health care decisions for you during an already stressful time.
Everyone over the age of 18 should appoint a health care agent. You can also use your health care proxy form to cite what types of treatments you would or would not want.
When deciding who should be your health care agent, choose someone you trust, such as a family member or close friend. This is where the conversation comes in so they are willing to take on this responsibility. If they agree to act as your agent, share with them your thoughts, beliefs and preferences about how you would want to be treated for the remainder of your life.
Although a health care proxy is a legal document, you don’t need to see a lawyer to complete it. Your signature on the form just needs to be witnessed by two adults other than your agent. Once you have completed and signed your health care proxy, give a copy to your health care agent and doctors. You may also want to provide a copy to close family members and even carry a copy with you.
The health care proxy becomes effective only when you become unable to make decisions, as determined by a physician. Until then, you remain in charge of making your own health care decisions. You always have the right while competent to revoke your health care proxy and sign a new one.
If you haven’t chosen a health care agent yet, take the first step. It will put your mind at ease – and the minds of your loved ones. Health care proxy forms are available at most doctors’ offices and hospitals. You can also download one here.
Additional Resources
- For free guides and other resources, visit The Conversation Project website.
- Read about Advance care planning, choosing a health care agent, and other related topics on our website.
Feature photo by Thay Jesus on Unsplash
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